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Hole in One

by Ralf Weihrauch

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1.
2.
Bed Making Father he was a good old man He put me to service when I was very young My mistress and me we never could agree Because that my master he would love me. Well she sent me upstairs to the loft To make up a bed so neat and soft Master followed after with a gay gold ring Saying "Betty have this for your bed making." All through the kitchen and down through the hall All through the parlour among the women all Master followed after with a gay gold ring Saying "Betty have this for your bed making." Mistress come upstairs in a great haste Caught the master there with his arm round my waist From the top to the bottom stair she did him fling Saying "Mister have that for your bedmaking." All through the kitchen and down through the hall All through the parlour among the women all Everybody asked me wherever I had been And they laughed when I said "At the bed making." Mistress she flung me out of the door She called me a nasty cheeky little whore The weather being wet and my clothes being thin How I wished I was back at the bed making. Six month over and seven month past Pretty fair maid grew thick about the waist Her stays wouldn't meet nor her pinafore pin She cried when she thought of the bedmaking. Eight month over and nine month gone Pretty fair maid had a beautiful son She's took him to the church she him christened John And she took him back again to the dear old man. She cursed him through the kitchen and down through the hall Cursed him through the parlour among the women all Saying "If you won't pay me, take your little son John Cos he never cost you nothing but a bed making."
3.
The Turfman from Ardee For the sake of health I took a walk One day at early dawn. I met a jolly turfman as I slowly jogged along. The kindest salutations passed between himself and me When first I got acquainted with the turfman from Ardee. We chatted very freely as we jogged along the road. Said he ‘Me ass is tired, and I want to sell my load, For I’ve had no refreshment since I left home you see, I’m wearied out with traveling.’ said the Turfman from Ardee. ‘ Your cart is racked and worn, my friend, your ass is very old, It must be twenty summers since that animal was foaled.’ ‘ He was yoked in a trap when I was born, September ‘83, And he cantered for the midwife.’ said the Turfman from Ardee. ‘ I own my cart, it must be made of the very best of wood. I believe it was in use in the time of Noah’s flood. The axle never wanted grease but one year out of three. It’s a real old Carrick axle.’ said the Turfman from Ardee ‘ I often do abuse the beast with this old hazel rod, Although I own I never did drive poor old Jack unshod. The harness now that’s on his back was made by John Magee Who’s dead these two and forty years.’ said the Turfman from Ardee We talked about our country’s woes and how we were repressed The man we sent to Parliament toget our wrongs redressed ‘ Sure all these politicians are nothing else you see but led by bloomin’ humbug.’ said the Turfman from Ardee. Just then I heard a female voice that I knew very well, Politely asking this old man his load of turf to sell. I shook that horny hand of his and bowed respectfully, In hopes to meet some future day the Turfman from Ardee
4.
Nellie was a milkmaid bonny, brisk and gay, She always took delight with young Roger for to play. One day she decided some pleasure for to take And asked her missus leave for to go to the wake. Chorus (repeated after each verse): Nellie toraloo, Nellie toraloo, Oh sweet lovely Nelly, to the wake she did go “Oh Nelly,” said her missus, “I'd have you to take care And of that young Roger I'd have you beware. So Nellie, you may go but this promise you must make, Don't frolic with young Roger coming home from the wake.” So dressed in her best, young Nellie did repair And as the expected young Roger he was there. And they danced and they sang, they had beer, ale and cake, And Nellie were the prettiest that they had at the wake. The day being over, they homeward went their way, Until they had come to the new cocks of hay. And Roger kissed young Nell and her promise she did break, She frolicked with young Roger coming home from the wake. When seven months were over and nine being come, Young Nellie was the mother of a fine lovely son. “I will call it,” she said, “I will call it for his sake, I'll call it young Roger coming home from the wake.”
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7.
The Foxhunt 01:45
You gentlemen of high renown come listen unto me That takes delight in foxhunting by every degree. A story here I'll tell to you concerning of a fox, Near Royston Hills and mountains high and over stony rocks. Old Reynold being in his hall and hearing of these hounds Which made him for to prick his ears and tread upon the ground. “Methinks me hear some jubal hounds pressing upon my life; Before that they to me shall come I'll tread upon the ground.” We hunted full four hours or more by parishes sixteen; We hunted full four hours or more and came by Barkworth Green. “Oh if you'll only spare my life I promise and fulfil: To touch no more your feathered fowl nor lambs in yonder fold.” Bold Reynold beat and out of breath and dreading of these rounds Thinking he might give up his life before those jubal hounds. So here's adieu to ducks and geese, likewise young lambs also; They've got bold Reynold by the brush and will not let him go.
8.
9.
Oh, As I walked out one morning fair, To view the fields and to take the air, Spied a young maid making her complaint All that she wanted was the chiefest grain, the chiefest grain. All she wanted was the chiefest grain. (instr wieder) I stepped up to this fair young maid And unto her these words I said I said, "My young maid, do you stand in need" Of the grain that's called the wanton seed, oh, the wanton seed A grain that's called the wanton seed "Oh yes kind sir I stand in need, Of a grain that's called the wanton seed If you are the man that can do the deed Come and sow my meadow with the wanton seed, the wanton seed, Come and sow my meadow with the wanton seed." So I sowed high and I sowed low And it's under her apron the seed did grow Grew up so neatly without any weed She always commended me wanton seed, oh me wanton seed She always commended me wanton seed. Now when the fourty long weeks they were over and past She came back to me with a slender waist She came back to me and how she did complain she wanted some more of my chiefest grain, oh my chiefest grain she wanted some more of my chiefest grain.
10.
A-roving on a winter's night And a-drinking good old wine Thinking about that pretty little girl That broke this heart of mine She is just like a bud of rose That blooms in the month of June Or like some musical instrument That's just been lately tuned Well, perhaps it's a trip to some foreign land A trip to France or Spain But if I should go ten thousand miles I'm coming home again And it's who's gonna shoe your pretty little foot And who's gonna glove your little hand And who's gonna kiss your red ruby lips Who's gonna be your man I love you till the sea runs dry And the rocks all melt with the sun I love you till the day I die Though you'll never be my own A-roving on a winter's night And a-drinking good old wine Thinking about that pretty little girl That broke this heart of mine
11.
The Ranter 03:41
THE RANTER (THE RANTING PARSON) It's of a sly ranting parson, for preaching he lived in great fame; In the town of Rover did dwell, though I dare not to mention his name. Likewise a jolly young farmer, a neighbour living close by; Soon on the wife of the Farmer the Ranter he cast a quick eye. While the Farmer was minding his business and rose with the lark in the morning, The Ranter was forming a plan how to crown the young Farmer with horns; And he oft to the farmer's did go, to pray for the good of his soul, But when you have heard of the joke, I warrant you'll say it was droll. The Ranter if you had but seen you would think he was free from evil; As pure as snow-driven without, but within was as black as the Devil. One day when the Farmer was out he said, "I will have my desire", And straight to the house he did go and he sat himself down by the fire. Then he said, "My good woman, I'm told that your husband won't be home tonight; I value not silver or gold if I could but enjoy my delight". Then she replied with a smile, "My husband is gone for a week", And little the Ranter did think how she meant to play him a trick. When all things were silent at night, she whispered these words in his ear: "The best bed it stands in the parlour, and you must go to it my dear; When you are safe up to bed, my dear, I will come with all speed." "Alright", said the Ranter, "Make haste"; and so was the bargain agreed And the Ranter got into bed and he lay there as snug as you please And the lady went into the garden and fetched back a fine hive of bees. And she carried them into the parlour and put them down slap on the floor; So nimbly then she ran out and on him she lockèd the door And the bees began buzzing about and the Ranter he jumped on the floor, So sweetly he capered and danced as they stung him behind and before; And then he got out of the window, since no other way could he find; His clothes he ne'er stopped for to take, but was glad for to leave them behind. All smarting and sore with the stings, he ran home to his wife in his shirt, Such a figure of fun for to see, all besmeared with mud and with dirt; And the Farmer came home the next morning and after the truth had been told, In one of the Ranter's side pockets found thirty bright guineas in gold. And the Ranter got into disgrace and the farmer he laughed at the joke, To think how the Ranter would look without trousers, waistcoat or cloak. The Ranter he frets and he pines all for the loss of his money; The Farmer, though he lost his bees, thinks he is well paid for his honey.
12.

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released July 4, 2019

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Ralf Weihrauch Herne, Germany

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